My friend JuJu Bear (profile to come) has a really weird talent. He can take take the Kevin Bacon game to a whole new level. He can link Kevin Bacon to an actual strip of bacon. So I decided to test this awesome super power of his. The following is an example of his amazing talent. It’s also an email exchange. Enjoy.
JuJu: I’m bored, and haven’t talked to you in a while. How are things?
Me: Things are good. Slow here since the order volume is down. I’ll be divorced in about a month. Mr. Awesome is all moved into his new place. My new car smells like pasta.
How are your things?
JuJu: My things are good. Congrats on the divorce. Makes me think of a scene from Scrubs (“By the power invested in me by the American Bar Association, I now pronounce you ex-husband and ex-wife. You may now do whatever the hell you want.”)
What else is new?
Me: Nothing. My life is very boring.
JuJu: We need to change that. Maybe get you a bobcat. That should liven things up a bit.
Me: The animal or the heavy machinery? Either way, I’m in.
JuJu: First one, then the other.
Me: That should end well. How is Pixie (alias added)? Did I spell her name right?
JuJu: She is well, things are good. Yes, you were correct (short for ********)
Me: I didn’t know that she had a long name. That’s a nice name. What’s her middle name?
JuJu: Virginia, after her grandmother (hence the FL username)
Me: I wondered.
JuJu: Kevin Bacon game time! Give me a name
Me: 50 Cent.
JuJu: 50 Cent was in “Get Rich Or Die Tryin’” with Terrence Howard.
Terrence Howard was in “Iron Man” with Jeff Bridges.
Jeff Bridges was in “The Big Lebowski” with John Goodman.
John Goodman was in “Bluess Brothers 2000” with Dan Akroyd.
Dan Akroyd was in “Blues Brothers” with John Belushi.
John Belushi was in “Animal House” with Kevin Bacon.
Next?
Me: 50 Cent was in “Get Rich Or Die Tryin’” with Brian Paul.
Brian Paul was in “Cavedweller” with Kevin Bacon.
JuJu: Not only can I link most actors/actresses, but Matt in Small Biz and I once got creative. He challenged me to link Steven Segall to a seagull, and Kevin Bacon to a piece of bacon (I did both)
Me: Ok, let’s see which other actors you can link to objects.
Can you link Megan Fox to a fox?
JuJu: Megan Fox was in “Transformers” with John Tuturro.
John Tuturro was on “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” with George Clooney.
George Clooney gives his voice to the title character of the upcoming “The Fantastic Mr. Fox”
Me: Fantastic!
How about Rob Lowe with a Lowe’s store?
JuJu: Rob Lowe was in “Wayne’s World” with Mike Myers.
Mike Myers costarred on SNL with Phil Hartman.
Phil Hartman played Captain Carl on PeeWee’s Playhouse, which also starred Lawrence Fishburne as Cowboy Curtis.
Lawrence Fishburne was in the Matrix Trilogy with Keanu Reeves.
Keanu Reeves was in “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey” which featured a scene in which they built robot versions of themselves from parts bought at a hardware store.
Okay, so I don’t know if the store was a Lowe’s or not, but dang it I’m close!
Me: That’s pretty impressive.
Ok, David Cross to a crucifix.
JuJu: David Cross had a small role in “Men In Black II” with Will Smith.
Will Smith was in “Independence Day” with Bill Pullman.
Bill Pullman was in “Spaceballs” with Mel Brooks.
Mel Brooks also starred in “History Of The World, Part 1” with a scene of the Last Supper, with John Hurt playing Jesus Christ the night before his crucifixion.
While working backwards, I actually stumbled on a way to link John Hurt to himself without repeating a movie
Me: Ok, this might be a stretch but Ving Rhames to a bell.
JuJu: Because bells make a vinging sound?
Ving Rhames was in “Entrapment” with Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Catherine Zeta-Jones was in “Ocean’s 12” with Topher Grace in a uncredited cameo.
In “Spiderman 3” Topher Grace played Eddie Brock, who became Venom when the symbiote bonded to him in a church’s bell tower
Me: Tim Robbins to a robin.
William Sadler to a saddle.
JuJu: Tim Robbins was in “TopGun” with Val Kilmer.
Val Kilmer was in “Batman Forever” with Chris O’Donnell as Robin.
I don’t know who William Saddler is.
Me: Damn. That was too easy.
Christian Bale to a bale of hay.
JuJu: As Batman, Christian Bale fought The Scarecrow. Scarecrows are often filled with hay?
Me: Steven Segall to a seagull
Kevin Bacon to a piece of Bacon
JuJu: Steven Segall was in “Glimmer Man” with Keenan Ivory Wayans.
Keenan Ivory Wayans was in “I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka” with Isaac Hayes.
Isaac Hayes was in “South Park- Bigger Linger & Uncut” with a voice cameo from George Clooney.
George Clooney is in the upcoming film “Up In The Air” with J.K. Simmons.
J.K. Simmons was in “Juno” with Allison Janney.
Allison Janney provided her voice to “Finding Nemo” which had a flock of hungry seagulls.
And thus ends the showcase of Mr. JuJu Von Bear the 3rd Esquire Dot Com.
