Lucho – I met Lucho when he came to work for my company. He’s Juju’s friend so I looked him up on Myspace. I knew we would get along great but, um, he had a whole different opinion on that matter. Out of training he was sat next to me and I’m pretty sure his favorite words at that time were: “Random, get your boobs off of me.” And: “Are you still talking?” My charms, intellect and the fact that his sarcasm was not lost on me won him over soon enough. We talk, we debate, we bounce ideas off each other. I’ve never been afraid to say something for fear that it would piss him off or hurt his feelings and vice versa. In fact, getting each other riled up is a bit of a sport at times. I can easily lose track of time when talking to Lucho and I’ve never been afraid that he will judge me for things I’ve done because of course he’ll judge me but still accept me for who I am. One of my personalities is a lot like him.
How he got his name: He may be the only one who had his name before I met him. I think it’s something to do with drinking and the Mexican wrestling mask he owns. Actually a lot of things he does has to do with those two things… and a fez.
Schooling: He teaches Sadistic Bastarding at Meramec. Oh, my mistake, he went to Meramec and is a Sadistic Bastard for fun.
Likes: Coffee. But not that pussy ass dime store bullshit. He likes his coffee like he likes his Chuck Norris: So fucking bad ass it will fuck your face hole just by looking at you and leave you wanting more.
Hates: Yep. What? You want more? Too bad.
Music: He has the most obscure and eclectic taste in music of all my friends. He has turned almost all of us on to new music. My favorite so far has been Bat For Lashes.
Books: Usually messed up awesome shit like Palahniuk.
TV: I’m pretty sure he has one since he spends all his time quoting SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skits. “I’ll take the penis mightier.”
Movies: Wow, I don’t even know where to begin. Kung Fu and Zombies. OMG, zombie kung fu movie would be awesome.
Activities: Drinking coffee and telling you what’s wrong with the world/you.
Talent: Philosophizing you. And smacking your ass so hard, you don’t need to be told twice.
Super Power: The ability to verbally abuse you until you are cowering in a corner in the fetal position.
Hero/Villain: If you have to ask at this point, you may need to start from the top again.
Favorite activity to do together: Talk, debate, spar.
Notable: He can fence. I’m sure you wanted something different here but come on, a villain who’s hopped up on coffee, hates the world and can fence you the fuck up? I think my job is done.
Secret note: He is one of the most loving and gentle men I’ve ever come across and he turns to mush for his cat.
