McBoobs – I met McBoobs in the same training where I met Miss Extraordinaire. She didn’t like me either. Apparently I asked too many questions and came in every day in my ‘long skirts and glasses’. I have no idea how that made me a goodie-two-shoes. She changed her opinion on the same night as Miss Extraordinaire. McBoobs now works in the same department as me and we sit right next to each other. I have NO idea how everyone else tolerates us. She’s so fucking funny and fantastic. I couldn’t even work there if she left, I would have to go. She’s ditzy some times and I love it but mostly because she’ll catch herself and laugh along with everyone. She has a huge heart and is a great mom. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Except her husband. Sorry McBoobs, it’s still your turn to blow him.
How she got her name: Massive, massive boobage. Very nice boobage. Boobs. Boob. Tits. Ta-tas. Fun bags, love drums, bazoombas, knockers.
Schooling: The school of Jaeger bombs. She has her doctorate.
Likes: Jaeger bombs and sex. And making obnoxious noises at work.
Hates: Sitting at work on a Friday afternoon and assholes that drive like assholes.
Music: What can you shake your ass to? Yea, she likes that.
Books: Twilight saga. No other options. No, we don’t give a shit of your opinion on sparkly vampires. We like Twilight and she will kick you in your douchey ass taint if you want to talk shit.
TV: Normal shit and by normal I mean So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol. You know, normal.
Movies: She so f-ing picky about shit, I’m surprised that she likes anything.
Activities: Stepping on your vagina. No, seriously, do not let her dance on your chair. She will step on your vagina.
Talent: The ability to turn every conversation towards sex. Wait, maybe I do that. Nope, it’s totally her.
Super Power: She will drink you under the table. Really.
Hero/Villain: Hero. I just can’t possibly imagine the kind of crime that she would fight.
Favorite activity to do together: Lunch and strip poker. Man it’s been a while since we’ve played strip poker. She also shaved my happy place for me once.
Notable: Seriously, it’s the Jaeger bombs. I’ve never seen someone who could drink so many in one night and still be able to be human. Oh my god, what if she’s not human? What if she’s from some crazy ass planet where Red Bull and Jaegermeister give you giant breasts and a fantastic ass? I totally want to be from that planet.
